1) The hare & the tortoise raced each other in a sprint. The hare won by a hare's breadth.
2) There was this particular area in a city that no writer dared step into. Why?
Answer : The area was called “Writer's Block”.
3) Heard about this god-fearing lion in the wilds of Africa?
He says his preyers before sitting down to polish off his meal.
4) This guy was hired by a zoo to look after the Komodo Dragons. However ,he was fired after a few days as they found that he was unable to “monitor” the big lizards properly.
5) This babe refused to date bakers & masseurs. Why?
Answer : 'cos she found 'em coming across as too kneady.
6) How do you discipline a naughty prince?
Answer : By beating him with a ruler.
7) This babe won the “Biggest Boobs” competition. She was asked whether she felt tense when the winners' names were being announced. She replied ,“Yeah,the last few moments were nerve-racking.”
8) Some Islamic fanatics wanted all Muslim women to be covered in a burqa. . However,instead of the usual hotheaded diktats,they issued a veiled threat to Muslim women.
9) Heard about this crazy bridge player? He never deals with a full deck.
10) Heard about this crazy basketball player? Well,he's a basket-case.
11) This guy was going through a jungle,all the time moaning how bored he was. All of a sudden, a few wild boars attacked & killed him. Boared to death ,eh?
12) This glutton lost his buttocks in an accident. Since then he's been called “The Bottomless Pit”.
13) How did this babe react when her baker boyfriend gifter her a diamond ring?
Answer : She was floured.
14) This little kid wanted a duck as a pet. Whenever he demanded the same from his parents, they would distract him with shiny toys & inane talk to duck the issue.