Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Some new words - 27

Skidaddle - To ski very fast in panic.

Hareness - To control & direct a rabbit.

Invenctive - Inventive in conjuring up new & weird expletives or insults.

Obknocksious - Annoying way of knocking up.

Amalgame - A game that is a combination of two or more games.

Wailrus - A large marine mammal that cries at the drop of a hat.

Homiecide - To carry out the killing of a friend.

Oaffice - An office full of stupid people.

Pun Intended - 34

1) This farmer who grows pears is a very senstitive guy,y'know? Yeah,even the slightest criticism will pears his heart.

2) How do you make fun of a fashion designer?

Answer : You should say something tongue-in-chic.

3) Loki, the god who was a trickster, got all the other gods pissed off with him. As they were baying for his blood, he decided to remain Loki until the storm blew over.

4) This guy has a fetish for fat women. When he comes of a marriageable age, his parents ask him in a worried tone whether he'll select the right woman. He replies ,"Don't worry, I'll plump for the right woman."

5) The police were called to track down the robbers who had made off with a truck carrying millions of dollars. The police pressed sniffer dogs into service, but after some time ,the dogs lost the cent of the robbers.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Pun Intended - 33

1)Why is it so difficult to get Count Dracula to invest in companies?

Answer : 'cos he doesn't like to have stakes.

2) This baseball pitcher injured his shoulder. The physiotherapist said that the injury is so severe that he won't ever be able to pitch again. No wonder that the pitcher has been in the throws of despair ever since!

3) Even if you have a bad cold & feel like blowing your nose,be mindful of others' sensitivities. It snot the done thing to offend others.

4) This peacenik in the Spanish government has brokered peace between the government & the ETA. No wonder that he wants to Basque in glory.

5) Heard about this fisherman who's obsessed with catching only bass all the time? He's a bassket case indeed!

6) This coloured presidential candidate initially found it difficult to gain acceptance among the whites. But after putting a lot of effort in sending out his message of economic reforms,he wan them over.

7) What do you get when you divide a country into antagonistic states that only serves to make the people cry in despair?

Answer : Bawlkan region.

8) Heard about this dye-making company that's struggling to stay afloat & pay the workers ? Well,it's in dyer straits.

9) Why did this baseball pitcher also make a good salesman?

Answer : 'cos he had a good sales pitch.

10) What happens when a huge & heavy wreath falls on you?

Answer : You wreathe in agony.

11) Heard about this flashy biker who likes to wear flamboyant & loud colored helmets? He likes to be Shoei.

Some new words - 26

Kindread - Fear of relatives.

Anorack - A jacket with a hood for the bosom.

Shabbylis - Badly made Chablis.

Neofight - A new brawl.

Whyrus - A disease of asking "why" all the time.

Cockette - A woman who trifles with a man's dick.

Commoditty - A useful song.

Innoweight - Make changes in the body weight in a novel way.

Infinitesimull - To give little or no thought.

Muttiny - A rebellion of dogs.

Reinterpreting words - 25

Olfactory - An ancient factory.

Scandinavian - A person who scans everything.

Petulant - An irritable pet.

Narcissistic - A drug dealer's excessive love about his own narcotics stuff.

Woodchuck - An animal that chucks wood.