Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Pun Intended - 37

1) I read in the papers that scientists are going to use gene modifications to make cows give milk in various flavours like strawberry, chocolate, so on. I think it's udder nonsense.

2) Heard about this bumbling guy who got caught while trying to smuggle hallucinogenic drugs? Well, you could say he made a hash of it.

3) Q - Why did Pepsi fire one of their top execs, who happened to be a junkie?

A - 'cos they caught him doing Coke.

4) The founder of the magazine "Hustler" is a miser, y'know? Yeah, Larry's a skinFlynt.

5) Heard about this Hispanic guy who has a fetish for cleanliness & neatness? Talk about being spic & span.


Not a pun, but what the hell -

Juan --> Huan
Javier --> Havier
Jose --> Hose
Jumper --> ??

Some new words - 31

Lacktate - To produce insufficient quantity of breast-milk.

Seephilis - A problem of immense eye strain caused by watching too much porn.

Looquacious - Droning on & on about toilets.

Jizzus - The God of male fertility.

Cellibate - One who has never used a cell phone.

Pshycopath - A psychopath who is bashful. (Now don't ask me what 'bash'ful means. )

Pryapism - Persistent problem of being a nosy parker.

Dissoriented - To have a tendency of insulting others most of the time.

Hundread - To be scared shitless of Attila the Hun.

Fournicate - To knock up 4 times.

Thesbian - A lesbian actress.

Enemya - To flush out your enemies. (If you're being buggered by your enemy, you now know what to do, don't you?)

Premoneytion - A feeling that you're going to lose money in the days to come.

Reinterpreting words - 28

Hunker - To desire strongly for a hunk.

Deliberate - To lambast a food shop.

Dramatic - Spectacular twitching of the face.

Consequence - A series of deceitful acts.

Humdrum - To hum & drum at the same time in a bored manner.

Curfew - Small number of mutts.

Triad - 3 Chinese advertisements.