1) This surgeon charges exorbitantly for an amputation. He charges an arm & a leg.
2) How do you attack a prostitute?
Answer : You hook her.
3) This software company is struggling to meet the deadline to come out with a new word processor. In an attempt to speed up the development ,the company has adopted a caret and stick approach.
4) This hotshot director, a hard taskmaster demanded repeated takes in his quest for perfection. His film's main actor dropped out of the film. Why?
Answer : 'cos he couldn't take it anymore.
5) This fashion designer comes up with a new transparent dress. The fashion critics dismiss it as sheer nonsense.
6) How did this maker of marble tiles react after his company went bankrupt?
Answer : He lost his marbles.
7) This maker of silicon implants for breasts has gone bust.
8) This geologist eats ,drinks & sleeps rocks all the time. He's got rocks in his head.
9) Hugh Hefner's Playboy approached this prudish beautiful woman with an offer of 1 million dollars to pose topless for them. How did she react?
Answer : She blew her top.
10) This golfer is suspicious about his girlfriend's fidelity. So he always keeps an eagle eye on her.
11) This rich guy , a staunch vegetarian, had a sizeable percentage of shares of a food company. When the company decided to introduce steak ,he decided to protest. How?
Answer : By offloading his steak in the company.
12) This doctor managed to make a successful transition to being a politician. Guess why?
Answer : 'cos he was an expert in taking the pulse of the people.
13) This towel making company is into deep losses. They are thinking of throwing in the towel.
14) If I am given an overripe banana I will go bananas.
15) Sign outside a very popular public toilet : Mind your Pees & Queues.
16) This farmer grows the best beetroots on this earth. No one can beet him.
17) I have heard there's a beautiful young woman working in the bank. I think I'll cheque her out.
18) This guy is wanted by the police for issuing dud cheques. When they nab him ,they say,"You are chequemated."
19) Heard about this hot babe, a fashion designer? Well,many men have designs on her.
20) This farmer provides the most luscious hay for his cows. The cows think that the place is hayvenly.
21) The barber tried his hand at golfing. He couldn't make the cut in any tournament.
22) This girl just enters puberty. Obviously confused by the changes, she asks her mum whether anything is wrong with her. Her mum replies,"You are perfectly alright. Period."
23) This stock broker has a fetish of stealthily following babes. Yeah,he is a born stocker.
24) This textile mill is struggling with heavy losses. Its demise looms large.
25) Last Friday was miserable. The hot & humid climate was compounded by a power cut. That day turned out to be Fryday.
26) I am simply bored of being envious of others. Guess it's envy ennui.
2 more jokes,nothing to do with puns,but here because of lack of numbers to justify their own thread :
1) I am byslexic.
2) I am a firm believer of the give-&-take policy. You give me something nice & I'll take it.