Thursday, October 15, 2009

Pun Intended - 43

1) Polly the parrot just died with a boom. Don't blame me. How was I to know she wanted crackers of the edible variety?

2) Q: What do you calling a hooker who bores you by droning on about useless things?
A: Ho-hum.

3) Sale sign outside lingerie shop - "Flat 50% off on push-up bras."

4) This new book on sex is really great. Just how great? Well, its foreword page is titled 'Foreplay'.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Pun Intended - 42

1) Wanting to nix the pending hush-hush wedding, this male cantaloupe says to the female cantaloupe: "I'm sorry, but we cantaloupe."

2) Did you know supermarkets have dedicated spots to ogle at girls? Yep, they are called checkout counters.

3) Movie buff: I saw Guy Ritchie's 'Snatch'.
His none-too-bright friend: Really? I always thought Guy's a man.

4) Priapism & a sense of humour is all that a man requires to be a stand-up comedian.

5) Heard about this guy who's forced to work as a gimp? Talk about bonded labour.

6) Advice to politicans: When a dirt-digging journalist tells the world that you indulge in wife-swapping, deny it aggressively & threaten to sue. In other words, come out swinging.

7) So, the Drug Enforcement Administration finds that this guy has hidden cocaine in his rectum. Next day's headlines read: "DEA finds crack in man's butt."

8) So this none-too-impressive actor with a priapism problem tried his luck in the porn industry. The critics wrote him off as a wooden actor.

9) I want to buy Viagra but I am hard on cash.

10) A good sexologist always advocates different lovemaking positions, with a missionary zeal.