Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Pun Intended - 25

1) Renault-Nissan is going through a lot of turbulence because of dwindling sales & heavy losses. The shareholders have unanimously decided to boot out the CEO. Yeah, Carlos will soon be Ghosn.

2) This elusive thief has one weakness. He just can't resist a woman with a nice rack. So the police entice him with a well endowed policewoman acting as a hooker. He falls for the booby trap.

3) This once healthy man took to chain smoking. Over the years,the heavy smoking took its toll & rendered him impotent. A case of going to seed,huh?

4) This babe is known for circulating wild rumours & gossip that brings others to grief. Her nickname is "Buzzooka".

5) The police arrest this conwoman & bring her to the prison. What do they do with her?
Answer : Jailer.

6) This experienced weaver lost the tag of the best weaver in the world to an upcoming weaver. The old geezer then made a wove to regain his numero uno status.

7) I recently took a bath in a bathtub filled with inferior quality liquor. I had a swill time.

8) Rip van Winkle's dying wish was to have a tombstone mentioning only his surname. So his tombstone read "R.I.P van Winkle".

9) Heard about this man who slept for 20 years?When he woke up ,he found he had become very old & haggard. People called him Rip van Wrinkle.

10) Heard about this man who slept for 20 years & then after waking up,went on a slashing spree with his 12 inch knife? They called him "Jack the Ripper van Winkle".

11) It was 7 a.m when I tried to swat these flies. When I finally swatted the last of those damned things, I was shocked to find the time was 12 a.m. When you are engrossed ,time sure flies ,eh?

12) These photographers have come together to form a click.

13) This truck carrying shit swerved out of control & turned turdtle.

14) I was amazed to see this guy cleaning the filthiest & the smelliest toilet without so much as crinkling his nose. I asked him how he could do so. His reply was ,"Son,after 10 years in this job,no toilet faeces me anymore."

15) This man is a master of disguise. He uses turd to change his mug. Man of many faeces ,isn't he?

16) This dullard goes to a party. Sometime into the party ,he does a handstand. Know why?
Answer : 'cos somebody said, "Bottoms up".

17) This guy is drinking soup when his pal drops in. His pal drinks a few spoons of the soup & says the soup tastes funny. The first guy says ,"No,I find it Knorrmal."

18) This jockey loses the derby & feels suicidal. His pals try to cheer him up with "C'mon ,don't be upset over a mare race."

19) This little bee is very unruly. As it happens,his mom has to host a party. So she warns him to be on his best beehaviour.

20) This motorman took to boozing after his g.f ditched him. Boozing made him go off-track & his career was derailed.

21) This guy has an ambition of starting a beer brewery. He's got the brewery draught ready.

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