Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Pun Intended - 28

1) It's very difficult for a pilot to ensure that the plane has a smooth takeoff & a smooth landing. Yeah, taxiing is very taxing.

2) The smell of burning joss sticks incenses me no end.

3) This tyrant takes cruelty to extreme lengths by not sparing anything,not even food. Yeah,he demands whipped cream topping.

4) What does a tailor say when he's pissed off because of a sewing mistake?

Answer : "Darn it".

5) This gambler goes to a casino. He plays the casino games recklessly & ends up owing the casino guys many times his wealth. He said he can't pay. What do the roughnecks of the casino do with the gambler?

Answer : They attack him with choppers ,swords & dice him.

6) This guy from Poland is going through a dense Amazon jungle,when he is attacked by a gang of hungry cannibals. The cannibals kill him. What do they do next?

Answer : They Polish him off.

7) This dog is very famous for retrieving chucked sticks & getting other things like the newspapers,shoes etc. The dog is very handsome too. You could say the dog looks fetching.

8) I'm very tired of work. I'm lounging to have a relaxing vacation .

9) This gambler goes to a casino & plays at the slot machines like there's no tomorrow. Sure enough, he ends up owing the casino many times his wealth. He says he can't pay. What do the roughnecks of the casino do?

Answer : They sloter him.

10) This food company ,which manufactures many different types of food under one brand umbrella ,is thinking of hiving off its honey business into a separate business.

11) A few weeks ago, I met this babe who works in a glue factory. We are bonding well.

12) When it comes to shampoos, Procter & Gamble is Head & Shoulders above everyone else.

13) This country wants to be the world's largest producer of rice. The prime minister exhorts the farmers to rice to the occassion.

14) This rowing coach, who cheats on his girlfriend, has an uncanny talent for spotting people with rowing skills. Guess he has a rowing eye.

15) A joke about cocaine cracks me up.

16) This pedigreed bitch(as in female dog) is upset with her boyfriend, a mongrel who lives on the streets. Why?

Answer : 'cos he strays very often.

17) Nike's sales have hit an Air pocket.

18) The top brass of Exxon Mobil was charged with insider trading. After a thorough enquiry , they were Exxonerated.

19) My pals said that I'm too boring & sedate. I tried to be loud,boisterous,fun-loving for the past few months. I've been unsuccessful so far in changing myself. I am staidily losing hope of giving myself a makeover.

20) This kangaroo is hopping mad.

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