1) I won this contest for the best erection. When I showed off my trophy to my dad, he said, "Keep it up, son!"
2) I am reading this book on euthanasia. It's so bloody interesting that I just can't put it down.
3) Heard about this guy who's got an obsessive habit of giving the highway salute to anyone & everyone he sees? The shrinks who analyzed him couldn't put a finger on it.
4) This poor bastard who's a bit deaf is busy bonking his girlfriend. Sure enough, the broad gets an orgasm & lets out a barely audible "Oh my god". Unable to get her, he asks her, "Eh? Come again?"
(Now, before you pull out the knives, let me tell you that I'm myself hearing impaired & it's not that I enjoy making fun of disabilities in real life.)
5) This guy's got a strange problem of temporary hearing loss whenever he gets an erection. Hard of hearing, eh?
(He should thank his stars he doesn't suffer from priapism. And no, neither do I suffer from priapism.)
6) I am a very liberal man who thinks of curvy females 24/ 7. I guess you could call me broad-minded.
7) Heard about this poor bastard who died after beign savagely mauled by a Kodiak bear? You could say he met with a grizzly end.