1) This dumb babe gets a job as a lifeguard. On her first day to the job, she comes wearing nothing but a gun. Well, she was told to wear a one-piece swimsuit.
2) Q: What do you tell a golfer if you want him to remain steady while putting?
A: "Stay putt."
3) This kangaroo goes to a shrink to find out if anything's wrong with it. The shrink checks the kangaroo & says, "I think you jump to conclusions too much."
4) This thief is produced in the court on the charges of having stolen gold jewellery. After hearing the evidence, the judge says, "Your gilt is proven beyond doubt."
5) Q: What do you call it when a despicable person wants to throw up?
A: A wretch is wanting to retch.
6) Rapper Curtis Jackson is thinking of having his own line of perfumes. He plans to brand the perfumes by the name of "50 Scent".
7) Q: What do you say when you see a very fat woman?
A: "She's broad."
8) I joined this course for rapelling. Well, being a greenhorn & all that, I made heavy weather of it on the first day. The trainer tried to encourage me by saying it was a descent effort.
9) Night-vision goggles are really cool, y'know? Yeah, you can make light of darkness.