1) Polly the parrot just died with a boom. Don't blame me. How was I to know she wanted crackers of the edible variety?
2) Q: What do you calling a hooker who bores you by droning on about useless things?
3) Sale sign outside lingerie shop - "Flat 50% off on push-up bras."
4) This new book on sex is really great. Just how great? Well, its foreword page is titled 'Foreplay'.